Struggle Is Not Required: Seven Key Sources

Suzanne Holman

Struggle is not required for success. Does this sound impossible to you? Personally, I grew up with the philosophy that you needed to work hard to succeed. This doesn't really serve me today. What I've done for you is identify seven key sources of struggle. For each of these struggles, I'm sharing a remedy. Finally, we'll look at what the rewards are for squelching these struggles!

URGENCY
Struggle: When there is urgency, there is hurry. There is strong emphasis on what is "in your face" and the important things tend to be ignored. A decision made in this mode of thinking can often be one that is not grounded.
Remedy: Take a moment to breathe. Remind yourself that some of those things don't need immediate attention. Just that little pause can give you great perspective.
Reward: Satisfaction in being able to move forward in a purposeful, directed way.

SCARCITY
Struggle: When we feel there isn't enough, we tighten up. We may feel as though there is no support available. Perhaps the financial base isn't what we feel is necessary. How will we get all that we need?
Remedy: Remember that there is always enough. It may be that you just need to do the project in phases as the support comes to you. As you relax into the challenge, more solutions will come to you as to how to get the results you want.
Reward: Your attitude will have a positive effect on those around you. What a great legacy to spread to those who are learning from you!

LACK OF FOCUS
Struggle: Who hasn't found themselves going in circles trying to decide what needs to be done first?
Remedy: List your items and prioritize. Use the Covey quadrants relating to importance and urgency. Once you have decided on those items that are both urgent and important, you know where to start. Work down your priority list from there.
Reward: What a wonderful thing! You may have moved yourself so fluidly through the most pressing, important items that you have the freedom for more personal time.
Once you realize you are able to do this, you'll feel more confident scheduling your free days ahead of time, knowing that you'll be in the position to enjoy them!

SELF-IMPOSED DEADLINES
Struggle: Have you ever over promised and then found that you are getting lots of pressure for the finished product at the last minute? Sometimes in the interest of pleasing others and showing how good we are, we say that we can do things in minimal time.
Remedy: This is super stress that is not necessary if you take the time to schedule realistic deadlines. It's important to factor in any obstacles that can get in the way of smooth completion so that you are able to move toward the deadline at a solid, steady pace.
Reward: Clients are pleased that you have met or exceeded your promised due date. Those around you are thrilled that you are not "biting their heads off" as you did when you were overstressed with deadlines you were not meeting.

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Struggle: We can really cloud our thinking with lots of self-reminders of how we performed poorly on previous projects. It's easy for those negative memories to dominate because they are the painful ones. How difficult it is to feel passionate and motivated when this heaviness is hanging over us.
Remedy: Take the time to think of those times that you were successful. Notice what you are doing well now. At the end of each day, really acknowledge yourself for what you did accomplish. It's easy to forget about that when we are making exaggerated notations to ourselves of our shortcomings for the day.
Reward: Passion comes alive when there is room for it! Getting rid of those gremlins jumping around in our heads can make a huge difference in our energy level!

FEAR OF CRITICISM
Struggle: When we have fear of being criticized, it is easy to try to please everyone all the time. We tend to moderate our words, our actions, and look over our shoulder to see who's watching. This is a sure-fire way to stumble at what we're doing (we're not watching ..too busy looking to see who else is watching). How can we be creative when we're so concerned who may not like our original idea?
Remedy: We may please some of the people all the time. We may please all of the people some of the time. But we won't please everyone ALL of the time. Just accept that fact. Complete your projects with your creative juices flowing. Be aware of new ideas you may have that will make things go better.
Reward: Your creativity will grow exponentially. When you look for it and accept it without fear, you will come up with more innovative ideas.

ALLOWING URGENT ISSUES TO PUSH OUT THE IMPORTANT ONES
Struggle: How frustrating it is to feel as though you are supposed to be doing three or more things at once!
Remedy: As is usually the case, you need to pause for just a moment to get a sense of just what it is you need to be doing right now. Some things that may seem huge are really not that important in the scheme of things. Perhaps some of those items can be taken care of by someone other than you. Focus on what you know needs to be taken care of.
Reward: Others will respect you when they see you taking charge in a centered, empowered way. You will find that you are able to feel accomplished because you were not swept away by extra issues that were not best handled by you at that time.

Struggle isn't required. Can you accept this fact?

Notice yourself. Watch when you are flowing through your day and when you are banging your head against the wall.

Remember the struggles we've discussed here and try out those remedies. The rewards are well worth it!

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